Fight, Flight, and Flop
Hi Everyone,
Today, I just want to tell you an observation. We have all heard of fight and flight, where when a person is scared, there are two main reactions for survival instinct: you fight to survive, or you run to get mauled by whatever is chasing you because unless you are a track star, this is a generally bad idea or at least it is to me. I don't have much of a flight gene, provided it is genetic and not learned like most things are. I have actually hurt myself more from trying to stop punches and elbows mid-air because my wife Fiona thinks startling me is funny. In her defense, it is because she knows I'm not a spineless worm who would hurt a woman intentionally. In fact, the thought of failing to protect a woman, especially my wife, from physical harm is almost my worst nightmare, which is why I get hurt by her antics. It's difficult to stop a full-force strike from a large man on a dime. You will pull muscles and sometimes hit the floor. Fiona is skittish, like a cross between a deer and an armadillo. She jumps at everything! If you are thinking Fuzzy deserves his pain because he scares the sweet, skittish Fiona intentionally for fun, then you are half right. I do scare my wife for fun, but that's no need for her to risk her health for revenge! So, one night a couple weeks back, I discovered the third option for survival, the least effective I have ever seen. I walked into the living room, and Fiona saw me. It startled her. She jumped in the air like an armadillo in the light at night, twisting, running, and then landing on her back, silent on the floor. I watched with a mix of laughter and concern. Concern because for a brief moment, she wasn't moving, almost like she was dead, and well, not only is there the who will cook, clean, do newsletters, and keep me company? There is also this reality that I actually love my wife, which is hard to replace as I'm not the most loving or loveable of people anyway. Might even start to miss her. I know it's hard to believe I have grown so soft as I age. Thankfully, she began to laugh, which was a relief. Then I pop off with a good thing I'm not a kidnapper or rapist! So Now there is a verified third option for Fight or Flight it's Flop. Those of you with a flopper, take good care of them and don't let them out of your sight. You want to get your laughs in while keeping them safe. If you are a flopper, you may want to marry a fighter, probably not a runner, and definitely not a flopper. Just some free advice there. Enjoy!
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