Family: Traditional vs Modern

 Hi Everyone!

    I was thinking about families. Family dynamics are something we all struggle with at times. So today, I want to take a small look at the traditional family structure, which in western culture is more Christo-Judean though many cultures have a very Judean family structure, so I will start there.

    When we consider the Judean family structure, there are three main points. Patriarchal (male authority), Heir Responsibility (Male Heir), Kinsman Redeemer.

Let's start with Patriarchal. 

Patriarchal means all authority in decisions belongs to the male family leader, typically the oldest male but can sometimes be passed over as this role comes with the family blessing of the previous patriarch. The story of Jacob and Esau is an example of this, as the blessing included both power and the majority of the patriarch's assets. In their story, Jacob steals Esau's blessing. This being passed by for the blessing isn't limited to theft. It can be bartered or even just given to another. In general, the blessing or passing of the baton goes to the oldest son of the Patriarch; keep in mind that Judaism traditionally is a polygamous society like Islam, and so there would have been many people affected by these decisions. This brings us to Heir responsibility.

Heir responsibility is a curious thing. As we see with Patriarchy in general, only one son is traditionally looked at as the Heir, so all responsibilities fall on him. You are probably wondering why daughters aren't mentioned so far. That is because the daughters are the property of their fathers until they become adults, and then they are seen as the property of their husbands once they marry. So they are never expected to take these responsibilities in these family scenarios. If the eldest male son dies, then the responsibilities would pass down the family line by male-only and only to the direct male descendants of the patriarch. The responsibilities would involve paying to take care of the parents and assuming the parental roles for the younger siblings. If no acceptable male heir existed, then the concept of the kinsman redeemer is brought in.

The Kinsman Redeemer is familiar to many as the story of Ruth and Boaz is considered a type and shadow for what Christ does in redeeming us and our sin. The concept of Kinsman Redeemer is typically where the closest unmarried man with high stature in the family takes a young widow as his bride, so the lands aren't lost to outsiders. The concept culturally is used a little broader than that. In fact, this is where the daughters and their husbands come into play, and the other distant relatives start to have optional responsibilities. The Kinsman Redeemer is a non-obligated relative with the capacity to step into the duties of the missing heir who chooses to do so out of love or kindness... some possibly out of greed.

This structure is what the more conservative world refers to when they say traditional family structure.

The modern structure seems loosely based on traditional structure yet often turns into a free-for-all when someone dies or falls ill unless they leave a will. Often even with a will, things get messy, and people get hurt.

My Thoughts 

Having seen the fights of disgruntled relatives, even if there is a will, all the finger pointing because of selfishness, there are aspects of the traditional structure I like though it can quickly become unfair. One might even add that, in some ways is entirely unfair. I suggest families wrestle out a clear plan early on that is communicated long before anyone dies so it can be handled well with the relatives. Also, my opinion is that the concept of inheritance should only be what is left after the elderly pass and should be divided as per their wishes. Until that moment, it is theirs to do with as they wish.